Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 11th, 2007 01:01 am (UTC)
Have you also seen The Spoon Theory?
Aug. 11th, 2007 09:07 am (UTC)
Seeking advice:
People with CFS or FMS often feel invalidated when they hear:

“You look good to me.” (Underlying invalidating message: “You don’t look sick, therefore you must be exaggerating or faking.”)

Now I do this *alot*. It is because I use it as an alternative to "Hello, How are you?"

I would say "Hello, you are looking well", or "you are looking happy" or "You are dressed smart today" or something positive like that. I figure that if the person I am talking to wants to tell me about their medical state they will find a way.

I never mean to say that "I doubt you are ill because you look well".

Do you think people can tell the difference?

Aug. 12th, 2007 12:49 am (UTC)
Re: Seeking advice:
When I have the energy and *am* feeling well/happy, I am usually able to tell if you/they mean well. If I am feeling ill or depressed I am likely to feel the "I doubt you are ill because you look well". It does vary but I do understand how/why people do it.

I also tend to know who actually *does* want to know how I am when they ask - if they do then I tell them and if they don't I just say "fine" (see the icon)... ;-p

I also went through a phase of answering "How are you?" truthfully, whoever asked. People that did not really want to know soon stopped asking.

I think that we may hear I doubt you are ill because you look well sometimes because a few people *do* think that about those of us with invisible disabilities - including family, teachers, employers,... We live with a minefield of disbelief and mistrust around us and just want to be believed.

That did not help, did it. Sorry.
Aug. 11th, 2007 01:07 pm (UTC)
those links look strangely familiar...

Aug. 12th, 2007 12:50 am (UTC)
Oh! I wonder why?! ;-p

I just wanted to share the good with my RL friends and LJ readers...
Aug. 13th, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
Some days I'm fine, some days I think I'm living in denial. Can you suggest somewhere I can get advice quietly, without making a fuss? Because I mostly manage OK.
Aug. 13th, 2007 03:22 am (UTC)
Do you mind if I ask what condition you have?

If it is MS then I can make some suggestions of websites and LJ groups (and offer solidarity/support). If it is FMS or CFS then I am of less help, I am afraid.
Aug. 13th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
Also, feel free to email me on my LJ addy ( natalief [at] livejournal [dot] com )...
Aug. 13th, 2007 10:32 am (UTC)
May I post a response to you somewhere less public?
Aug. 13th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
natalief [at] livejournal [dot] com
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )


Nat S Ford
If you enjoy this blog and want to help support it, please drop a small tip or donation into my PayPal tip jar.

While completely voluntary, all donations will help me buy yarn, eBooks, etc. and keep this blog (and me) going.

Thank you for reading!





Latest Month

October 2019


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner