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In lieu of and until I get around to writing a longer post (copied from a comment elsewhere on my lj):

I am biologically female, not intersex (someone who is intersex has both male and female sexual characteristics). i.e. my sex is female. I look female (although I am often mistaken for male until people see the size of my chest because I dress very unisex/male).

My gender is how I feel - what I feel like I am. I do not feel female (and never have despite trying to be female for 48 years) and yet I do not feel male either and so I am agender not transgender. I do not want to transition to male, either. I just want my breasts removed (not that I can afford it and this is almost impossible on the NHS) so that I look more like my gender. For myself.

My sexuality is asexual, autochorissexual to be precise.

My preferred pronouns are they/them/their. I answer to she/her/hers or he/him/his as well, especially from people face to face who do not know me. Asking a person's pronoun preferences f2f in the UK at the moment is VERY rare.

I hope this suffices as a very brief primer (with focus on myself) to these three distinct categories. Sex, gender and sexuality are three very different things.

P.S. I am writing this with a migraine (non-ocular, mostly vestibular and painful) that started yesterday morning. I hope to remember to write a longer version of this post at some point but this is a brief summary. Written in reply to a reply to my earlier post.

I need some gender/sexuality icons but I suppose that my rainbowed-puffin will suffice for now.

201604031344BST: Edited to change "agenda" to "agender" in the quoted text and add a link to the LGBT symbols on wikipedia.

201604041902BST: Edited to add that I also look male because I have wide shoulders, long arms and legs (a male frame apart from my hips, I suppose) and, apart from the breasts, said hips and lack of penis, fit better into men's clothes than women's.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 3rd, 2016 04:08 am (UTC)
*nods* I'm always glad to see this list again. It really does need to be stated more often that these three areas are separate and distinct categories.
Apr. 3rd, 2016 12:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you for validating my understanding of the terminology. I have done a bit of reading whilst trying to get my thoughts about myself in order.
Apr. 4th, 2016 01:22 am (UTC)
I did know that gender meant how you FEEL about yourself no matter what the physical characteristics you carry. Sex is the physical characteristics. I didn't know that intersex means "both" characteristics.

It is true that I'm not sure I'd ask a random person what are their preferred pronouns. I'd go with what I perceived visually. However, if we had a conversation and I learned more, then the question begs to be asked.

When I was a little girl, I looked - and even sounded - like a boy. My voice was (and still is) low, and it was amazing how often I was taken for a boy on the telephone. I also wore my hair short - cut above the ears. I am very small busted, and wore classic clothing - nothing frilly, so occasionally I got the male pronoun, and I didn't like it. Even though I was a tomboy - I related to being female. I'm much more female now. As I have gotten older, I wear more feminine clothing, lots of jewelry, and my hair is long - half way down my back!
Apr. 4th, 2016 06:01 pm (UTC)
Well, i suppose it is more know than feel but yes. Also, that article you linked to on the other post is spot on

I should probably add to this post that I also look male because I have wide shoulders, long arms and legs and, apart from the breasts and lack of penis, fit better into men's clothes than women's.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Nat S Ford
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