November 9th, 2012


Dark realisations

I have just realised, lying here unable to sleep, some things that I do not like about myself. I seem to be entering a dark, depressed, SAD phase. I know this because my spendaholic, want-all-the-things, only-happy-for-a-few-hours-when-I-get-cool-stuff-in-the-mail and secrecy tendencies are looming and this only happens when I am depressed. We cannot afford for this to happen this year as hubby is freelancing again and so cash is very sparse.

So, rather than risk not being able to control this and also risk my marriage, I am looking for pen-pals. Getting letters or postcards in the mail and sending out the same would make my day every time. I can afford to send letters and cards in the UK and, once I check with hubby, perhaps internationally as well. Packages and so on, though, might be pushing things. I will have to see.

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More depression talking

I dread the MS progressing, having been told that, "I'm not pushing you in a wheelchair!" We had better win the lottery then so that we can afford a powered chair, or I will have to resign myself to becoming bed-bound, if it comes to that.

Yes, I am in bed and yes, my mind is whirring away as I fall asleep, hiding from the world under my duvet.

Temporary change of plan. My bladder and brain are conspiring to keep me awake. I am so sleepy, though, that I should easily fall asleep after a trip (possibly literally given the ataxia) to the loo and exorcising my thoughts into this post.

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pixelasleep, sleep

Trying to pull everything back together

I am feeling a little better after quite a long nap today. I have a few more realisations about myself that I am not keen on but that I will keep to myself so as not to compound them and do my best to work on them myself.

If you would like to be my penpal I am still serious about trying to write letters, cards or postcards. You never know, I might even be able to get out to the letter-box to post them!

My contact details (LJFriendsGroup locked - let me know if you would like to be added to that group and I will see what I can do).