May 5th, 2012

puffin

[reblog] One last one for Blogging Against Disabilism Day: Oh, you poor thing.

I am sad that I missed "Blogging Against Disabilism Day". That said, this is very similar to something that has happened to me:

Originally posted by elisem at One last one for Blogging Against Disabilism Day: Oh, you poor thing.

Setting: Many years ago, when my hearing was much worse than it is now.

Scenario: Person whom I am dating and I are sitting in room with television and VCR. Person tells me that they are very excited to show me a particular movie which means vast amounts to them. Person puts movie on.

Movie turns out to be entirely done in voice-over. Or at least the first ten minutes were, because that's how long I tried to manage to hear something, anything, that I could understand so I could try to guess what the rest of the words were. I tried and tried, turned the volume up, tried more. After ten minutes I said I was sorry but I couldn't hear it and it just wasn't working.

Person then proceeds to get mad at me and to bewail the horrible fate of not being able to show their precious important movie to me. Oh, so disappointing! Oh, so heartbreaking! Oh, that I could not share this peek into their soul! Well, I got a peek into something, all right.

Did you think about the fact that it was all in voice-over, and that there were no captions and not even any lips to try to read? No. OK, well, that's not optimal, but when we discovered this and you learned that it would be a problem, did you try to think of any way you could make it more accessible to me? Or did you just strike a pose and need somebody to call the waaaaaahmbulance? I was sitting there trying not to cry, and you were all upset at me and at the universe.

Yeah, I still think you were a jerk. And yeah, that's a big piece of why I broke up with you. Things never did really recover, after that -- because it was one outcropping of a larger problematic foundation. But disabilism is how it manifested that day, and it was pretty awful to be on the receiving end of, from somebody who said they cared about me.


That said, I blogged about experiencing disablism recently and then had someone on my LJFriends list able-splain to me in comments and then un-friend me when I explained that I had asked a rhetorical question and did not need it to be able-splained to me. *sigh*