Sometimes this is the only blogging I manage to do. Feel free to skip it but then you may miss chunks of my life!
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With my evenings and weekends free, I had more time to think about what had happened to me. On a whim, I had picked up 1984 by George Orwell and started to read it. I was struck by the parallels between the thought control systems described in the book and my experiences at the Int Base. In the book Orwell describes "doublethink" – the art of believing two contradictory ideas at the same time. I realized that Scientology was full of those. One was told to "think for yourself," for instance, yet in fact everyone knew that no disagreement with Hubbard was allowed. Scientology teaches that the secret to good communication is high affinity (liking) and high reality (agreement). Yet staff are taught to scream at each other and even physically abuse others. Scientology champions "human rights" yet runs an abusive RPF prison system. I had always known these things, but I had justified them, explained them to myself – in other words, I had become adept at doublethink. With that realization, the sense of hypocrisy, the gap between what is preached and what is actually practiced by Scientology, began to grow in my mind.
You may all have worked out by now that many of my public entries are going to be 'comments disabled'. That is the plan, for now at least, so that I can have my say, have non LJ-ers able to read what I write and not have to deal with nasty anonymous comments. Why don't I just disable anonymous commenting? So that those same non LJ-ers can comment if they wish on posts that do not have commenting disabled. Yeah, I know, "Make your mind up!" I am still trying to work out which would be best - to have to remember to disable commenting on some posts or to disable anonymous commenting on this LJ completely.