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I found a video on my phone

Of Pixel and Smudge at mealtime and Pixel was doing his usual thing of talking back to me and now I can't stop crying my eyes out. I can't bear it. I miss him/them so much. It feels like my heart is ripping in two.
Hubby does not want another cat and I know that it would not be my Pixel but maybe it would help me heal my heart? Then again we should probably not bring another cat into this flat what with the flea situation. But I don't know what to do!
I feel I have not let myself grieve properly and I surprise myself often with how numb and normal I feel but then something like this happens and it destroys me.
I think I will have to upload these videos to flickr without editing them because I cannot face watching them again. If I do I may link to them here.

Posted via Vita for iPhone.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 7th, 2013 04:18 am (UTC)
Hi. I'm sorry you lost your Pixel. Kitties are so special and their loss so devastating. Don't delete your video. Keep it in a safe place. When you're ready you can watch it and smile one day. I've lost so many kitties over the years ... just have my Teddy now. But all the old pictures and videos that Aaron took bring back fond memories. As if they are still with me not just in my heart. Hugs! Super hugs!
Nov. 7th, 2013 09:13 am (UTC)
There is NO way that I could have deleted that video and I have uploaded it to flickr without editing it. Thank you for the hugs and we are actually convinced that Pixel and Smudge are haunting us…
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
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