Nat S Ford (natf) wrote,
Nat S Ford
natf

I found a video on my phone

Of Pixel and Smudge at mealtime and Pixel was doing his usual thing of talking back to me and now I can't stop crying my eyes out. I can't bear it. I miss him/them so much. It feels like my heart is ripping in two.
Hubby does not want another cat and I know that it would not be my Pixel but maybe it would help me heal my heart? Then again we should probably not bring another cat into this flat what with the flea situation. But I don't know what to do!
I feel I have not let myself grieve properly and I surprise myself often with how numb and normal I feel but then something like this happens and it destroys me.
I think I will have to upload these videos to flickr without editing them because I cannot face watching them again. If I do I may link to them here.

Posted via Vita for iPhone.
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