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I wrote the following at about 4 am on my iPhone in WriteRoom and saved it to my DropBox, thus making it available to me here on the mac:

"Walking at Night"

I often have an urge to walk and walk in the cool night air, as I used to when I was younger. I have always had nocturnal tendencies, often sitting or lying awake for hours when too young to go out alone, reading or just 'day'dreaming. Then, when away from home at one or another christian camp and later at university, I started to go out and walk. Many poems, songs and prose pieces were composed during these walks. Some were subsequently written down but many exist only in my failing memory.

Tonight I am tempted to go outside and sit on the picnic bench that one of the neighbours has installed on the communal grassy area in front of the flats. There are two street-lights right there and it would be plenty light enough for me to sit and read, write or knit. I know that I am (sadly) not up to rambling around on my own these days, not during daylight and definitely not during the night hours, other than in the fictional worlds of the World of Warcraft. To be honest I am not sure that going down the two flights of stairs to sit at the bench would be such a good idea - the palaver needed to gather together what I might need and the two flights of stairs back up to the loo are quite intimidating if I am totally honest with myself.

So I will stay indoors in my room (that is at 28°C even at this hour and with the fan running) and read, knit and perhaps play WoW whilst trying not to think about how my horizons and boundaries are contracting as the multiple sclerosis progresses and as I begin to get "old".




Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
sammason
Jul. 23rd, 2013 09:15 am (UTC)
Oh my. Much empathy with feeling 'old' due to MS. I'm glad you have a home where you can access the world through t'Internet. Also that you didn't sit outside during the night when you'd be vulnerable to crims.
natf
Jul. 25th, 2013 01:56 pm (UTC)
I suppose that I might have been vulnerable to criminals but would be surprised, to be honest. Horsham is a relatively low-crime area even though we do now live in the rougher area of town than I grew up in. Hmm. Now you have me worried. I would have really enjoyed some night air, as well.
sammason
Jul. 25th, 2013 04:30 pm (UTC)
Is there somebody who could accompany you at such times?
natf
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:35 pm (UTC)
Hardly, at 4 am (see post title).

Edited at 2013-07-25 09:38 pm (UTC)
sammason
Jul. 26th, 2013 02:25 am (UTC)
I did read your title. My question was about whether you have a partner, sibling or friend who shares your nocturnal pattern. In fact, I wonder whether there are 'nocturnal clubs' - a bit like gardening clubs, book clubs, gay clubs, any other kind of group that shares a particular interest.
natf
Jul. 26th, 2013 02:45 am (UTC)
Third time lucky?

Ah sorry, I misunderstood you.
Hubby is diurnal and has to work so tries to have a "normal" sleep pattern.
Even Pixel is much more diurnal than an outdoors cat.
I do not have any face-to-face friends left (none stayed as the MS set in and I am not very good at maintaining friendships anyway when low on spoons.
I have never come across any local groups like that. Even if there was one I could not get out on my own to meet up with them.r
This is yet another reason that most of my "friendships" are online. Look at how easily I misunderstand you and you both understand and are only trying to help!
sammason
Jul. 26th, 2013 06:56 am (UTC)
I know about RL friends fading away when MS has arrived. Some of those I was really sure about have now drifted off, with or without excuses. But I'm sorry to learn that you now lack RL friends altogether. Is that fine, or a problem for you?

Words online are so easily misunderstood aren't they? It's a different kind of communication which has required me to learn different skills. When I do socialise face to face, these days, it takes conscious effort to get it right!
natf
Jul. 26th, 2013 05:05 pm (UTC)
It does not help that the good old English language has so many double meanings, does it! There are often at least two ways to interpret a sentence…
sammason
Jul. 26th, 2013 07:43 pm (UTC)
Like the classic: eats shoots and leaves. Or the one in this userpic. Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

Edited at 2013-07-26 07:44 pm (UTC)
natf
Jul. 26th, 2013 11:40 pm (UTC)
… and with your latter example, many on the intarwebz and in WoW now use "your" instead of "you're"…
sammason
Jul. 27th, 2013 09:34 am (UTC)
I'm loving your userpic! It affected me profoundly, resembling the effect of bad spelling. Like split infinitives, this is something up with which I will not put. Otoh you and I are probably quite out of date.

Here's one from tig_b.
natf
Jul. 27th, 2013 01:26 pm (UTC)
Also a true userpic.
sammason
Jul. 26th, 2013 07:52 pm (UTC)
Going off-topic, do you like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj6QqCH7g0Q
natf
Jul. 26th, 2013 11:45 pm (UTC)
LOL I had not seen that! I have added it to my favourites on YouTube.

Edited at 2013-07-26 11:45 pm (UTC)
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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