Nat S Ford (natf) wrote,
Nat S Ford
natf

I too am a non-newtonian fluid

That. That is what I am. Which is why I seem calm and collected and not sick at all when I come to interviews like this one, and like the one I had with Ms. First Case Manager – who was really nice, by the way. Under the pressure, I harden; it's instinctive, it's a survival trait I have because I have always needed it, but I can only do it for short periods of time, and afterwards I just collapse. I can't do it often. I don't even come out to interact with people when I am not capable of absorbing that force. People don't see me crumble, because if I think I can't take it I don't deal with people. So professional folks like you sometimes mistake me for something that is hard and strong, because they only see me under that kind of pressure. I'm not. And today, you're seeing me much more like I usually am, because I spent everything I had getting here, then that wait knocked the rest out of me, and now I am going back to being soft. Sorry if I crumble.

Source rocks LIFE and is well worth a full read:
Shadow Muse - Non-newtonian fluids.

Another better-than-spoons analogy. Now I need a userpic of a blob of silly putty. *googles*
Tags: disability, illness, life, ms
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