Nat S Ford (natf) wrote,
Nat S Ford

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She screams in silence

15 minute prompt for 2011-04-09
Today's prompt is 'she screams in silence'

Within her mind, her head, the hissing shriek of tinnitus merely serves as a counterpoint to her internal, constant and silent scream. Every time that she stops doing whatever is currently absorbing her attention and concentration, be it reading, knitting or watching a film, her mind blanks and the screams take over, reaching in to her past and parading the memories that she cannot forget, however much she would wish to and however easily most other memories, most of the good ones, are forcibly and reluctantly forgotten.

Realising that the shrieking tinnitus is just another facet of the internal screams, she spends as much time as possible unable to notice either, by filling her time and attention with other people's lives and words, be they real, fictional or her alternative lives within online games. Escapism, it is often called, but she feels it to be more about survival. At times, in the past, she would become so overwhelmed by the memories and traumas as to cease to function in the outside world. Reading helped her to anchor then and now, with newer distractions having been added to her arsenal of diversions.

Maybe one day she will be able to write down the stories in her head but, then again, would it be fair to inflict them on the unprepared?
Tags: 15 min, dailyprompt, writing

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