Nat S Ford (natf) wrote,
Nat S Ford

Sometimes I think

Sometimes I think that I should live on a planet (or in a dimension, or something) with a 20 hour day and a 10 hour night. That seems to be what my body wants to work to. Something in me wants to stay awake as long as I can, a bit like a young child does, hours after they are way to tired to do much other than cry in frustration at not being able or allowed to stay awake.

Many of my most creative and functional times are to be found in that twilight where the baby/child would be crying and, instead, I seem to not be able to stop doing what I am doing (for example I just cannot put down my knitting until I have knitted one more row, pattern repeat or even finished the item I am working on.

It is in this twilight state that I feel most alive and, ironically, the most awake. My eyelids are becoming as heavy as lead but my eyes are bright, glittering with ideas! Thoughts! Things I must share!

I suppose that there is an element of the state that would be termed sleep deprivation if I was to let it persist for long but, luckily, the MonSter's special fatigue will not let that happen, these days. I am able to stay in this place where I actually feel the most alive for only a few minutes — half an hour if I am lucky — before I have to succumb to that time-wasting, -stealing and -sucking vampire known as sleep.

Perhaps I will manage to capture some more the next time I am in this half-life.
Tags: dspd, insomnia, sleep

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