A previously linked but just now re-read article/blog that has struck a nerve with me tonight:
On Interpersonal Badness | Fugitivus
If you let it be known that you can and will cut a person off, you are unequivocally stating that you think your own sanity, health, and happiness is worth more to you than theirs is. And you suddenly learn how many people wish something far less for you.
The comments are well worth reading with many quotable and totally apt statements. All this reading is helping me to make decisions.
ETA some quotes from comments:
So my concern has long been, not forgiving, not forgetting, not establishing a better relationship with my dad, but rather… Not letting it eat me whole.
you can take anything he says to you as something he’s saying about himself (it’s a neat trick: you can do this with everybody).