Nat S Ford (natf) wrote,
Nat S Ford

A couple of thoughts as the birds start to sing

I have had difficulty sleeping tonight, as in I have not managed to sleep at all and so I got back up. I was sitting here reading LJ and other web-ness when I realised that I was exhausted but wide awake mentally and not at all sleepy. My mind seems to function at its best between about 2 am and 6 am. It is little wonder that I did not do well in the 9 to 5 life of offices and corporations.

Then I happened across this post by moschus on her non-lj blog in which she is describing herself and her creative process but where she could just as well be describing me and how my brain works.

ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER AND THE CREATIVE BRAIN: why a room of her own should not be near the mall

This is the comment that I left there along with all my hastily typed and not reread before hitting "submit" typos:

I think we may be identical twins. You are describing me whilst describing yourself. I am 42 and have not yet had any creative 'success' whilst being "good at everything I try to do" according to my friends and family. {I am passingly good at a lot of things but get bored of them too quickly to spend enough time practicing and so never become good enough.}

I have three people with schizophrenia in my large extended family (on both the maternal and paternal sides), many people with mental disorders from depression on up and a number of creative types including an actor and a successful fine artist. I was also the girl in class that would stare out of the window bored senseless but still ace all of my homework and fail a lot of exams. I never could get on with exams.

Many of the things you describe in yourself that I see in myself have been put down to the multiple sclerosis that I also have by the doctors. I did read a book about women/girls with ADD and how they tend to differe from men/boys with ADHD, having ADID (Attention Deficit Inattentive Disorder) instead - I wish I could remember the author(s) and title but it is in storage right now.

So, what I am trying to say with all of this rambling is, thank you for posting this! I will try to remember to dig out that book and read it again. I will also be posting this comment to my livejournal along with a loing link to your post.


P.S. I have an optical mouse by Logitech. Very often (and I mean five or six times an hour) it behaves as if it was a ball mouse that has a huge dustbunny holding onto the ball and I have the urge to take the ball out and scrape the rollers clean - only it does not have either of these. How is that even possible?!
What with the mouse's mind-games and Time Machine running for about 20-40 minutes out of every hour (well, it seems like that anyway!) and making the mac run like treacle mixed with Araldite™ … ARGH! *headdesk*

That written and got off my chest, I am now sleepy - but, of course, Smudge is wide awake and wants to play / trash everything on my desk until I feed her. Two hours early. *facepalm* *headdesk* *earplugs*
Tags: creativity, iamweird, writing

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