http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html - this one had me ROFLMAO in sparkly stitches!
ETA: There are actually five posts in this series: "Book One, Book Two, Book Three and Book Four. There's also a drinking game bingo card."
P.S. I realised that I bought an eReader version of Twilight (book I) last year but had not read it. I cannot remember if I tried to read it and gave up or never bothered to read it. In an attempt to address my concerns that I am criticising books and films that I have not read or watched, I am going to try to attempt to read it. It is on my iPhone. Wish me luck!
ETA3: Links from the comments below and subsequently linked links: