Nat S Ford (natf) wrote,
Nat S Ford
natf

And she went outside and it was quiet there, and dark. The cold pulled at her edges and made her aware of her solitude. Her eyes were drawn upward to the infinity and something in her followed. She became a corner of the beckoning vastness and at once was at peace. Looking around she could see where the world began, ended and all that came in between and why.

She understood, at last, all the muddled meanings that had thus far eluded her. She recognised her insignificance and was not cowed by it. Instead, she felt fulfilled as if, somehow, her life was explained. She realised that she could not stay where she was, that her life must continue for it to be worthwhile. She was needed, even if the world did not know it yet.

So she left the revealing emptiness, the place which encompassed totality, and began to return. In sudden consternation she realised that the clarity she had gained was receding, leaving her as she left, but, she took one last glimpse to reassure herself, and continued away.

And she was there, and it was quiet and dark there. The cold pulled at her edges and she was profoundly stirred but did not know why. She felt comforted as if by an embrace and her spirit was lifted. She was not sure why she felt this way, or why this place made her feel loved, but she loved it in return. It felt like home.

13/3/87.
Tags: nsf_writing, written at uni
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