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NaPoWriMo; Friday 3rd April, 2009

"Write what you know,"
they say.
I used to know many things_
have a lot to write about.
My world_
my experience is swiftly shrinking.

I never had ambitions
as such,
but I had ideas and inspirations_
there were so many things
that I wanted to see
to do
to be.

"Write what I know," these days
could so easily be
all about loss;
what was
and what can never be.

I need to record
all those things that I was
and could have been
whilst also bearing in mind
what I am now
and still can be.

Living in the past
in regret, loss and pain,
has been important for healing
but destructive luxury.
I want to look forward
and remain
where I am
and will be.
To see whatever I can see
and might be.

The inside-of-me
can still be
all of those things but,
maybe,
only inside-of-me.
Not Reality.

The true reality that I see
is that I am having to
adapt,
remodel,
redefine who I am.
I no longer know
who or what I am meant to be.

An adventure?
A nightmare?
An impossible but tantalising dream?

Who knows? Let's see!


Written for NaPoWriMo (or IntPoWriMo to be less US-centric and more British).
Read Write Poem.





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Nat S Ford
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