Despair
- Apr. 8th, 2003 at 6:09 AM
She dawdles home. Why can they not leave her alone? Instead they sneer and cat-call from the other side of the road. She stops outside the drugstore and looks around cautiously.
A little later, she emerges clutching a little package and hides it in the bottom of her schoolbag as she walks. Looking up, she realises with dread that she is nearly home.
Walking up to the gate, she trips on a wire stretched between the lamppost and the fence. The boys across the road snigger, "Pick up your feet, swatto!"
She comes in by the back door, which the wind snatches from her hand to slam it closed.
"Girl, don't slam it!" her mother calls from her armchair and gin.
She walks slowly upstairs to her room and takes out her parcel. Unscrewing the lid of the bottle she unwraps, she pours a mountain of gleaming white tablets onto the bed. Getting a glass of water from the bathroom, she sits on the bed and begins to take them, one by one.
She slips to the floor with a resounding thud after the 67th.
"Shut up girl!" yells her mother.
The girl is motionless.
A little later, she emerges clutching a little package and hides it in the bottom of her schoolbag as she walks. Looking up, she realises with dread that she is nearly home.
Walking up to the gate, she trips on a wire stretched between the lamppost and the fence. The boys across the road snigger, "Pick up your feet, swatto!"
She comes in by the back door, which the wind snatches from her hand to slam it closed.
"Girl, don't slam it!" her mother calls from her armchair and gin.
She walks slowly upstairs to her room and takes out her parcel. Unscrewing the lid of the bottle she unwraps, she pours a mountain of gleaming white tablets onto the bed. Getting a glass of water from the bathroom, she sits on the bed and begins to take them, one by one.
She slips to the floor with a resounding thud after the 67th.
"Shut up girl!" yells her mother.
The girl is motionless.
Tags:

Profile
natf
- Nat S Ford
- Natalie Ford Knits
If you enjoy this blog and want to help support it, please drop a small tip or donation into my PayPal tip jar.
≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈
≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈
- 'The Spoon Theory'
- 'Spears and pain monsters'
- 'The Battery Theory' (an alternative to 'The Spoon Theory')
- 'Silk Ring Theory'
- 'Boyfriend doesn't have Ebola. Probably.' An alternate Pain Scale.
- 'An Open Letter To Those Without MS'
- 'MS Empathy Kit'
- 'Who are the PwMS?' (vid)
- 'The Most Difficult Letter I May Ever Write'
- 'PillChan'
- 'Letter to Patients with Chronic Disease' (from a doctor)
≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈
≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈
≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈⠀⠀≈^..^≈
Tags
- #campnanowrimo
- #doctor
- #doctor13
- #doctorw
- #doctorwho
- #doctorwho13
- #dup
- #getoverit
- #jodiewhittaker
- #nhs
- #wearyourwooly
- 100
- 100words
- 100wordsinscrivener
- 101 in 1001
- 101in1001
- 15 min
- 30days of creativity
- 30daysofcreativity
- 3d-printing
- 420
- 4am
- 70s
- 750 words
- 750words
- 80s
- a a milne
- abbreviations
- abebooks
- ability
- ableism
- ablism
- about me
- about_me
- abuse
- abusive
- accessability
- accident
- accommodations
- acid reflux
- acoa
- acodf
- acon
- aconm
- aconp
- acta
- additives
- addons
- address
- ads
- adsense
- advert
- afterlife
- aggregation
- aging
- agree
- alice in wonderland
- almost-meme
- altzheimers
- alzheimers
- amazonfail
- ambiversion
- ambivert
- amigurumi
- amitriptyline
- amythest
- anaryl
- anecdata
- animals
- animation
- animations
- anotheronebitesthedust
- antliae
- anxiety
- apology
- apple
- argh!
- art
- artificial sweeteners
- artist
- artists
- artwork
- asd
- asexuality
- askmeanything
- aspartame
- aspergers
- assault
- assisted dying
- astronomy
- atheist
- audiobook
- audiobooks
- australia
- autism
- autism spectrum disorder
- autistic savant
- autoimmune
- awake
- awesome
- bad customer service
- bad fiction
- bad romance
- badge
- bag
- balloon
- bbc
- bbc news
- bbcnews
- bea arthur
- benefits
- bentham
- bereavement
- bicycle
- billingshurst
- bind-off
- biochemistry
- biology
- bipolar
- birds
- birthday
- birthdays
- blackout
- blizzard
- blog
- blog link
- blog356
- blog365
- blogger
- blogging
- blogging dearth
- blogging-from-a-to-z
- blogs
- bobbins
- book
- bookmarks
- books
- boost
- boundaries
- bowels
- brain
- branes
- british tv being offensive
- brother
- browsers
- brthdays
- bsd
- bugreport
- bullies
- bullying
- bunny
- bunnyherolabs
- burden
- butterfly
- caffeine
- calendar
- calm
- camelbak
- canada
- cancer
- canon
- captainawkward
- caption
- car
- care2
- cash
- cast-on
- cat
- cat macro
- cat-rescue-network
- cats
- celebrity.
- cellspin
- cern
- cfs
- charity
- checklist
- chichester
- child-free-by-choice
- childhood
- children
- china
- chinese-child-abuse
- choices
- chores
- christmas
- chronic fatigue
- chronic fatigue syndrome
- chronic illness
- chronic pain
- chronic-illness
- circadian
- climate
- climate change
- clumsy
- codes
- coding
- cognition
- colbert
- cold
- colossal
- colour
- comic
- comics
- comments
- commission knitting
- communities
- community
- computer games
- confusion
- congratulations
- consent
- conservation
- contact us
- contemplation
- controversy
- cooking
- cool pictures
- copaxone
- copyediting
- corbyn
- corn
- counselling
- cracked
- craft
- crafts
- crazy
- creative writing
- creativity
- creativity rules!
- crochet
- crocs
- cross-post
- croudfunding
- crowdfunded creativity
- crowdfunding
- cryptic post is cyptic
- cthulhu
- culture
- cumberbatch
- customer service
- customer support
- customer-service-fail
- cute
- cyber-bullying
- daily science fiction
- dailymail
- dailypost
- dailyprompt
- dairy
- dairy-free
- dance
- darwinaward
- daylight
- daylog
- days of the week
- death
- decisions
- deep thoughts
- del.icio.us
- dementia
- depression
- dermatillomania
- design
- designing
- designing knitting
- desk
- desktop
- destress
- diabetes
- diablo3
- diagnoses
- diagnosis
- diaries
- dictionary
- diet
- digital estate planning
- digital legacy
- dignitas
- dignity in dying
- dignity-in-dying
- dilbert
- disability
- disability day of mourning
- disabled parking
- disablism
- disclaimer
- dishcloth
- disorientation
- djinni
- dna
- dnr
- doctirs
- doctor who
- doctors
- doctorwho
- dogs
- domestic abuse
- domestic violence
- donation
- done list
- door locking
- doorbell
- dr who
- drabble
- dragon egg
- dragoncave
- drama
- dream
- dreaming
- dreams
- dreamwidth
- drhyde
- drugs
- drwho
- dsf
- dsotm
- dspd
- dune
- dw
- dying
- dying in dignity
- e*'s wedding
- earplugs
- earworm
- eating disorders
- ebooks
- economics
- economy
- edf
- edim
- editing
- edm
- education
- eleanor roosevelt
- election
- emotional abuse
- emotions
- employment
- energy
- english
- epilepsy
- equality
- erin
- etsy
- euthanasia
- every day fiction
- everydayfiction
- everything
- evolution
- executive dysfunction
- exmas
- explore
- eyes
- face blindness
- facepalm
- facts
- fail
- familt
- family
- fandom
- fanfic
- fat shaming
- fatigue
- fear
- fears
- feed
- feeds
- feet
- feet/ankles/legs
- fever
- fibromyalgia
- ficlet
- fiction
- field
- film trailer
- films
- filters
- finances
- finder
- finished objects
- firefox
- firstaid
- fitness
- flash fiction
- flashfiction
- fleas
- flickr
- flight
- flower
- flu
- flying
- fms
- fo
- fonts
- food
- food intolerance
- food-intolerances
- fracking
- free pattern
- freegary
- fridayfive
- fridayfiver
- friends
- friendship
- friendships
- frommywindow
- fuck cancer
- fun
- fund-raising
- funnies
- funny
- furkids
- future
- future-posts
- gaia
- gaiman
- games
- gaming
- garden
- gardens
- garfield
- garlic
- gaslighting
- geek
- geek-toys
- geeks
- gender
- gender and sex
- genderfail
- genetics
- genocide
- genome
- get fuzzy
- get off my lawn
- gif
- gifs funny
- giftmas
- gimpvent
- glasses
- globalwarming
- glue
- goals
- golden girls
- good cause
- good wishes
- google-drive
- government
- grammar
- gratitude
- graze
- green
- grief
- grooming
- guild
- guns
- gut
- gut ache
- guts
- gymnastics
- hah
- haiku
- hair
- handmade
- happiness
- hare
- harrassment
- hate-speech
- headache
- headdesk
- health
- healthcare
- healthcare-at-home
- hearthstone
- heat
- heath
- hector
- help
- hibernation
- hiv
- hobbit
- hobbycraft
- holidays
- hollandandbarrett
- hormones
- horsham
- hospital
- hot
- html
- hubby
- humanist
- humbug
- humor
- humour
- hyphenation
- hypocracy
- i meant to post this as private for use
- iamweird
- ibd
- ibs
- ichc
- icon request
- icons
- idcard
- identity
- iknit
- ill
- illness
- illnesss
- imadethis
- immd
- immune system
- important
- in memoriam
- indywrimo
- inflamation
- infographic
- injection
- injury
- insomnia
- inspiration
- insulin
- intarwebs
- intarwebz
- intelligence
- interests
- internet
- introversion
- introvert
- invisible disability
- ipad
- iphone
- iplayer
- iranelection
- irony
- israel
- itunes
- jack
- jaque fresco
- javascript
- jaylake
- jeoffrey
- jimchines
- job hunting
- jokes
- journaling
- journalling
- justified means
- kaznowrimo
- kickstarter
- kids
- kindle
- knitpicks
- knitpro
- knitters
- knitting
- knitting cast-off
- lace
- lack-of-caring
- lack-of-clue
- lack-of-sensitivity
- lactose
- language
- language evolves
- language-creep
- laws
- lazscott
- leak
- learning
- legacy
- legalise
- lego
- leonard nimoy
- letter
- library
- life
- life laughing at me
- life lessons
- life sucks
- linguistics
- link
- link-soup
- links
- links list
- linkshealth
- linksoup
- listening
- lists
- livejournal
- lj
- lj friends
- lj-broke
- lj-fail
- lj-fail-again
- ljanniversary
- ljapp
- ljarchive
- ljdrama
- ljfriends
- ljfriends groups
- ljmigrate
- ljsecret
- ljstatus
- lol
- lolcat
- lolcats
- lolceleb
- london
- loss
- loudtwitter
- love
- lovecraft
- luther
- lycanrthropy
- lycanthropy
- lyrics
- mac
- maddie
- malware
- marijuana
- marriage
- marriage equality
- marypcb
- maybe-drama
- mckinnon
- me
- medical
- medication
- medicinal
- medicine
- meds
- meetings
- meme
- memes
- memoir
- memoires
- memoirs
- memories
- memory
- mending
- menstruation
- mental health
- mental illness
- mental-health
- mental-illness
- messaging
- meta
- method
- micro not macro
- microblogging
- microsnot
- migraine
- migraines
- mindfulness
- minds
- miragrant
- misogyny
- mj
- mmorpg
- mobypic
- mondaysabitch
- money
- monster
- moo
- mood
- moon
- morning pages
- moth
- mothers
- motivation
- mountains
- movie
- movies
- mra
- ms
- ms is expensive
- ms research
- ms symptoms
- ms-uk
- mssociety.org.uk
- multiple sclerosis
- multitasking
- mum
- muppets
- music
- my day
- my opinion
- my-life
- my-pseudo-superpowers
- myalgic encephalitis
- myelin
- naamah
- nablopomo
- names
- nanaowrimo
- nano
- nanowrimo
- napowrimo
- nasty triggering question
- natalief
- natdaylog
- nationalpoetrymonth
- natnowrimos
- natphotoblog
- nature
- nature can be scary
- nausea
- needles
- neighbours
- neil dixon
- neilf
- nerd
- nerve pain
- networking
- neuro
- neuro-chemistry
- neurodiversity
- neurologist
- neurology
- neuroscience
- neurovariant
- neurowonderful
- news
- nhs
- nice
- night
- nocturnal
- non-binary
- non-science
- normal
- not really a meme
- not-a-meme
- notes
- notmentalhealth
- nsf_writing
- nts
- numbness
- oain
- obituary
- objectification
- occular migraine
- ocean
- octopuspie
- offer
- olympics
- online
- online community
- online friends
- online shopping
- openphoto
- opinion
- opinions
- oregon
- oscopy
- osx
- oversharing
- overthinking
- pain
- paincount
- palestine
- panic
- panic attack
- paraesthesia
- parking
- parody
- partial-repost
- passive-aggression
- passwords
- pathfinder
- patrick stewart
- pattern
- patterns
- paypal
- pca
- pebble
- pedant
- peom
- people
- permanence
- perseverating
- personal patterns
- personality
- petition
- petrol
- pets
- philomath
- philosophy
- phone
- phonecalls
- photo
- photoblogging
- photobooth
- photography
- photojojo
- photos
- photos_not_mine
- piano
- picture
- pictures
- pink floyd
- pixel
- pkinky
- plan
- plants
- plinky
- plot bunny
- plot-bunny
- plurk
- podcasters
- podcasts
- poem
- poetry
- politics
- poll
- polymath
- ponderings
- postcards
- posterity
- poverty
- pratchett
- prescription
- press
- privacy
- process
- products
- programming
- prompt
- pronouns
- proofreading
- prop8
- psa
- psychology
- pterry
- ptsd
- pua
- publishing
- puffin
- puffins
- pugwash
- pwms
- q&a
- qotd
- qotw
- query
- question fail
- questionnaire
- questions
- questions to my readers
- quiz
- quiz/meme
- quizzes
- quote
- quote disability
- quote. sleep
- quoteland
- racism
- radiohead
- rain
- rambling
- randomness
- rant
- ranting
- rape
- rape culture
- rape-culture
- rape-jokes
- ravelry
- read write poem
- reading
- readwritepoem
- reality
- reblog
- reblogged
- reblogged with permission
- rec
- recipe
- recipe search
- recipes
- record breaking
- redtape
- reference
- reg
- regia
- regrets
- reintnowrimo
- relaxation
- religion
- repost
- reposted
- request
- research
- respect
- review
- rhetorical
- rights
- rip
- rives
- rls
- roflrazzi
- roleplaying
- rss
- rye
- sad
- sad news
- sadness
- safety
- salt
- sare
- scale
- scam
- scanner
- schizophrenia
- school
- school shootings
- science
- science-fiction
- sciencefiction
- scifi
- scilly
- scrabble
- scrabulous
- scrivener
- seananmcguire
- seattle
- second life
- secrets
- security
- self
- self description
- self-diagnosis
- self-diagnosis-as-an-excuse
- self-portrait
- senses
- sex
- sexism
- sexual assault
- sexuality
- shadenfreude
- share
- share repost
- shared
- shareware
- sharing
- shiny
- shooter
- shooting
- short fiction
- sick
- sigmoidoscopy
- signal boost
- signal-boost
- signs
- simpletext
- singing
- six-words
- skomer
- sleep
- smart
- sms
- smudge
- smudge cats
- snow
- snow leopards
- social-media
- society
- socio-economic
- sock
- socks
- sodium
- software
- solitude
- solstice
- soup
- specfic
- spectrum
- speed
- spelling
- spock
- spoons
- spotify
- squirrel
- star trek
- stash
- stash-less
- steampunk
- stella young
- stem cell research
- steroids
- sticks and stones
- sticky
- stimming
- stimtoys
- stitching
- stitchlinks
- stories
- stories i'll never finish
- storms
- story
- storycorps
- storycubes
- storytelling
- stress
- stroke
- stuff
- suggestions
- suicide
- summer
- sun
- sunset
- super sekrit project
- superpowers
- support
- surgery
- survey
- survivor
- swineflu
- sxsw
- symptom diary
- symptoms
- tab-closing
- tabclosing
- table rappers
- tablet
- tabs
- tada
- tatto
- tattoo
- tech
- technique
- techniques
- technology
- technorati
- ted
- ted talks
- tedtalks
- teh-stupid
- teh-stupidz
- tehfunnay
- telegraph
- teleportation
- television
- temperature
- test
- testing
- thalamus
- thefridayfive
- theoretical ponderings
- therapy
- things
- things we do not yet know
- thinking
- thoughts
- time
- tinnitis
- tinnitus
- tipjar
- tmi
- todaysbigthing
- todo
- tolkien
- tom stoppard
- tools
- torchwood
- torygraph
- traits
- transphobia
- trauma
- travel
- trigger warning
- triggering
- triggers
- truce
- truth
- tsa
- tumblr
- tv
- tw
- tweetdumpr
- twittinesis
- u2
- ugh
- uk
- uncategorized
- understanding
- unicorn chaser
- unsent letter
- uo
- us politics
- usa
- username
- userpics
- usian politics
- usians
- vent
- venting
- verbal abuse
- vertigo
- vets
- via ljapp
- via ljapp on ipad
- vid
- video
- video chat
- video links
- videos
- village
- violence
- virology
- vision
- vlog
- voiceposting
- walk
- walker treasury project
- walking
- war
- warcraft
- warning
- weather
- weather-head
- web
- webcam
- webfiction
- website
- websites
- wedding anniversary
- weight
- weird
- welcome
- weliveinthefuture
- wetellstories
- wfc
- wheat
- wheat-free and dairy-free
- wikipedia
- wildcat
- wildlife
- wills
- windows
- windoze
- wips
- wishes
- wishlist
- woah
- women
- wordcount
- wordplay
- words
- words damage
- work
- workaround
- world history
- wotd
- wow
- wrimo
- writer's block
- writers
- writers' block
- writersblock
- writing
- writing exercises
- writing prompts
- written as a teen
- written at uni
- wtf
- wuh
- x-rays
- xjournal
- xkcd
- xmas
- xmas list
- ya
- yaei
- yarn
- yarn harlot
- yarncraft
- yarnharlot
- yesallwomen
- yet another ear infection
- york
- youtube
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner